There are no clear answers here. Everything we did together was fun. That's just the natural reaction. One day, I hit a breaking point, and I dumped Kara, kind of out of nowhere. When you're in bed, everything goes swimmingly, but you're not always completely enticed by her face in the mornings. Since you've dated hot people before, you might have noticed something: Fights were rare, and when they happened, they were civilly conducted, and over in half an hour. And all of that attention is intoxicating, even if they hate it. And it didn't bother me all the time. And they both matter. Personality-wise, she's someone I could see dating for a long time, but she's a bit on the heavy side and just not as pretty as I wish she was. Rather than being gorgeous, she's cute enough. What should I do? Honestly at this point I don't know what to do. But I think your concern is totally valid. Think you could use some dating help, too?
So you're just going to have to get used to that, or else have an endless string of shallow relationships with younger women until you're too old to do that, at which point you'll end up alone. Beauty and the Beast, the tale of the Ugly Duckling, and so on. Think you could use some dating help, too? Our society judges people pretty harshly for speaking frankly about physical beauty and its role in relationships. Since you've dated hot people before, you might have noticed something: When you're in bed, everything goes swimmingly, but you're not always completely enticed by her face in the mornings. Unlike, say, the decision I made with Kara, a girl I met in college. The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. Which is fine for you most of the time. Here and there, though, I'd be staring at some buxom girl in one of my seminars, wondering what life would be like with someone else. So it's only natural that they'd end up with an odd combination of insecurity, exhibitionism, guardedness, and neediness. And only you, finally, can choose how much. Again, that doesn't mean you can't make relationship decisions based on physical attractiveness. Better for both of you for you to be honest about that now than to dishonestly drag out a relationship that just won't work, wasting time both of you could be spending finding a better fit. Ending the relationship seems sad, but staying in it seems unsatisfying. Looks and personality are not totally unrelated — they influence each other. Or, like, not ugly, but not as pretty as some other girls I've dated. The Question Hi Dating Nerd, I've been dating this girl for a few months, and it's going super well, but, uh, she's kind of ugly. Fights were rare, and when they happened, they were civilly conducted, and over in half an hour. Why would she be? But on the other hand, we're blasted with an incredible number of images of immaculately beautiful specimens of humanity in a lot of different formats: There are no clear answers here. The lives of gorgeous people, specifically gorgeous women, are filled with psychological nonsense. She wasn't unattractive, but she was a little farther from my fantasy than I'd like. Meanwhile, I had learned the obvious lesson: I keep wondering whether I should break up with her, and get with somebody hotter.
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