But I urge you to do precisely that. You may also wonder if you will ever feel the same way about being sexual as you once did. Schedule an appointment for you and your partner with a therapist who is trained and experienced in the area of sexuality If you are a man whose sexual desire has plummeted due to your having sexual problems such as impotence or performance anxiety, a certified sex therapist can teach you many different techniques to overcome these difficulties. For example, some people tell me that sex was better before they had children. Look for the small flutters Dr. Cut back or eliminate alcohol and tobacco. Work on your relationship If the dip in your sexual desire is due to negative feelings about your marriage or spouse, it's time to do something constructive about it. Since your spouse has been the one to focus on sex in your marriage and you have felt pressured about it, you have backed away. Sign up for a marriage education class - learn new communication skills and methods for handling conflict. Unlike the last suggestion where you are advised to look for the small flutters, I am now suggesting that you don't necessarily need to feel turned on at all in order to initiate sex or respond to your partner's advances. Your future together depends on it. Flirt - If you think back to earlier times in your relationship, I bet the two of you were more flirtatious. Rather than assume that the Tidal Wave will be the cue that it's "sex time," look for more subtle signs. It will stimulate some great discussions and who knows what else. Patricia Love and Jo Robinson.
Since you are the one reading this, I am going to strongly suggest that it is you who has to take charge of changing things. Were you taking more time for foreplay? The next post will offer tips for the spouse yearning for more physical closeness. Your future together depends on it. Find a good therapist. Your negative feelings or apathy may have more to do with the chase than sex itself. It will stimulate some great discussions and who knows what else. However, for millions of couples, there is trouble behind closed doors. Flirt - If you think back to earlier times in your relationship, I bet the two of you were more flirtatious. It is estimated that one out of every three couples has a sexual desire gap. Read a good book. If you push yourself a bit, you will see whether the caressing and touching puts you in the mood. Were you using sexual devices such as a vibrator? Again, if your partner won't join you , go yourself. Sign up for a marriage education class - learn new communication skills and methods for handling conflict. You might also consider taking a drug such as Viagra, which will help you have and maintain an erection. Your spouse can stop chasing and you better believe that this will be one of my suggestions , or you can become more proactive for making things better between you. This is a wonderful starting point. The possibilities are endless. Dive right into sex again no matter how much time has passed since you were last sexually active. Your wife may be understanding at the moment, but if you put things off much longer, she might not be around. Even elderly and chronically ill people can enjoy a robust sex life. Unlike the last suggestion where you are advised to look for the small flutters, I am now suggesting that you don't necessarily need to feel turned on at all in order to initiate sex or respond to your partner's advances. Your marriage depends on it. I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard a person say, "I really wasn't in the mood at all at first, but once we got into it, I enjoyed myself. The second reason is that unless you are truly enjoying your intimate relationship, you are really cheating yourself! Plan a weekend getaway.
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