He's got his cake and is eating it, too. Beware the guilt boomerang. Ever notice how quickly the years go as you get older? Time is too precious to waste. Despite his reassuring you how much you mean to him, his not ending his relationship with his wife in an above-board and respectful way -- and not beginning a legitimate relationship with you -- are actions that speak louder than words. Even though he's the one who pursued you. This is not an easy statement to comprehend. As appreciative as he sounds, many women who are involved with married men come to resent his having the best of both worlds, when she has the least. Whether or not they have children is a moot point; he will always feel as if he has to be a husband to her and take care of the marriage, whether he truly loves her or not. No matter how nice a guy he is, you are a temporary diversion for him. Casual dating with male friends helps, too. You are evidence of his avoiding dealing with unpleasant situations head on. Unfortunately it is true. No matter how much you may want to walk in the sunshine with him and have him openly acknowledge his love for you, it won't happen. Being involved in an affair with someone else's husband is an almost surefire trip from ecstatic highs at the beginning to a depressing abyss at the end. To safeguard yourself from too much emotional pain, you need to understand that he can only be a small part of your life and will never be more than that no matter how many promises are made.
Like the Groucho Marx joke, "He may not want to be of a relationship that would have him as a partner. The woman who is in love with a married man lives a life that, for the most part, is shrouded in secrecy. Time is too precious to waste. When people who have been involved with married men finally move on, they often regret having wasted the time in a dead-end affair. Tips For Dating a Married Man 1. Her chance for happiness hinges on a future that is highly uncertain, to say the least. Their life together includes friendships and a social network that is shared and comfortable for him. Even Katharine Hepburn knew, and accepted, this fact during her long affair with Spencer Tracy. Simply because he talks in a negative way about his marriage doesn't mean that his obligations to his wife are any less important to him. The love of your life just might be a married man. Whether or not they have children is a moot point; he will always feel as if he has to be a husband to her and take care of the marriage, whether he truly loves her or not. Even though he has a deep feeling of love for you, he is able to process it in an unemotional way. As appreciative as he sounds, many women who are involved with married men come to resent his having the best of both worlds, when she has the least. If he is caught by his wife or conscience, don't be surprised if he tries to blame you and get you to take the fall. While he is more than willing to be your lover and to bring you gifts, he is not about to have you meet his friends and risk having his family find out about you. But when the man with whom you're involved is part of another couple, someone else's husband, then the challenge and unpredictability can make your life a messy, unhappy waiting game that you will rarely win. He's got his cake and is eating it, too. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. It helps to remember that the man with whom you are intimately involved in "your other life" is not living as a monk with his wife. Being involved in an affair with someone else's husband is an almost surefire trip from ecstatic highs at the beginning to a depressing abyss at the end. Ensuring you have a life distinct from his that is your safe haven can make being the other woman, if not a secure, permanent position, at least one that is a bit more tolerable. No matter how nice a guy he is, you are a temporary diversion for him. At some level, he's going to have trouble respecting you for settling for such a flawed relationship. Human nature finds it easier to blame than to accept shame. When it's over, he will move on. Unfortunately it is true. He is still having sex with his wife, no matter what you may want to believe.
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