Rule 3 - Never confess. Rule 16 - Always have an up-to-date family tree. How much jam you got, man? The girls will think you're "sweet. Just for a second, just to see how it feels. I've got the perfect girl for you. Rule 65 - When your crash partner fails, you fail. It wasn't my idea, I was basically dragged to it. I turned a corner. Rule 94 - Deep down, most people hate themselves. I've got the perfect girl for you!
You're a sweet man. But the feelings we felt; the jokes, the stupid laughs, that was all me. Rule 4 - No one goes home alone. Get in here for the real thing. Todd, where are you going with this? We're gonna make it. You ever pull on yourself, or--? But don't talk about it. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. You banging the daughter and the grandma? Definitely make sure she's All I wanted is was a second alone with you so I could explain things. Last week I did an exact [balloon] replica, to scale, of Wrigley Field. Rule 61 - When crashing out of state, request permission from the local Wedding Crasher chapter. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. There's something odd in that but maybe that's what it takes to make you feel like you're connected with somebody. Anyway, I saw this widow and she's a wreck. Someone will request it at every wedding. Rule 22 - You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Rule 88 - You're from out of town. Let's put all the cards on the table. I mean, I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid and his name was Shiloh. I'm gonna pour till it's on the tray. Do not wing it. Kudos and much thanks go to Blake for the first of these two monologues, it is very much appreciated. Rule - Make sure your magic trick and balloon animal skills are not rusty. You understand she heard that but that's not what you meant.
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